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If you pull it out, you are a lout

Louis C.K.’s really, really bad timing


(language warning)

Last week comedian Louis C.K. was set to release a new movie titled I Love You, Daddy about a 17-year-old girl who has an affair with a much older movie director. As I noted, this was a case of some really bad timing.

Little did we know. It turns out masturbation is seemingly always on C.K.’s mind and the topic figures prominently in his comedy routines.

The New York Times reported in its print edition Friday that five women have come forward to claim that Louis C.K. (birth name: Louis Szekely) either masturbated in front of them or while he was on the phone with them, or asked them if he could.

Here is the account of two comedians, Dana Min Goodman and Julia Wolov, when they met C.K. at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colorado in 2002:

When Louis C.K. invited them to hang out in his hotel room for a nightcap after their late-night show, they did not think twice. The bars were closed and they wanted to celebrate. He was a comedian they admired. The women would be together. His intentions seemed collegial. As soon as they sat down in his room, still wrapped in their winter jackets and hats, Louis C.K. asked if he could take out his penis, the women said.

They thought it was a joke and laughed it off. “And then he really did it,” Ms. Goodman said in an interview with The New York Times. “He proceeded to take all of his clothes off, and get completely naked, and started masturbating.”

….During Ms. Goodman and Ms. Wolov’s surreal visit to Louis C.K.’s Aspen hotel room, they said they were holding onto each other, screaming and laughing in shock, as Louis C.K. masturbated in a chair. “We were paralyzed,” Ms. Goodman said. After he ejaculated on his stomach, they said, they fled. He called after them: “He was like, ‘Which one is Dana and which one is Julia?’” Ms. Goodman recalled.


It didn’t take long for C.K. to admit the allegations were dead-on.

C.K. released a statement through his publicist acknowledging the “stories are true” and that he acted “irresponsibly.”

At the time, I said to myself that what I did was okay because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them.

Double ick.

As the scandal began to suck up media oxygen, an old clip from his FX series, Louie, surfaced that featured — you guessed it — Louis C.K. playing “Louie C.K.,” who is identified in the chyron as a “comedian/masturbator.” As Mediaite reports:

In the clip, Louis C.K. debated his position on Fox News with Greg Gutfeld, playing himself, and a character named Ellen Farber of a fictional group called “Christians Against Masturbation.” Gutfeld jokingly introduced the comedian as “an aficionado” in masturbating who is even “known for his prolific masturbating,” adding that C.K. “brags about it.”

“You’re the only person we could find who would come here to defend masturbation,” Gutfeld told the comic.

“Well, I like it,” C.K. responded. “It’s fun, it’s easy, and nobody gets hurt.”

Triple ick.

It turns out that I Love You, Daddy is a case of art imitating life.

According to Matt Zoller Seitz, “The movie includes a long bit in which the C.K. character’s assistant (Charlie Day) loudly mimes masturbating on an office couch with other people present — including a female producer played by Edie Falco, who looks disturbed but still carries on a conversation with C.K.’s character as if this sort of thing happens all the time.”

However, it may be a long time before anyone can see the movie. Indie film distributor The Orchards has announced that it will not be releasing I Love You, Daddy.

C.K. is one of the most sanctimonious left-wing comedians in the business today. It’s good to see him get his comeuppance.

(Editor’s note: The New York Times has provided a helpful list of famous men recently accused of sexual harassment or worse. It is filled with left-wing media figures, including but not limited to Harvey Weinstein, Lockhart Steele (Vox Media), Leon Wieseltier and Hamilton Fish (New Republic), Mark Halperin (NBC, MSNBC), Michael Oreskes (NPR, New York Times), and Rick Najera (CBS). Conspicuously absent from the Times list are Jann Wenner, Matt Taibbi, and Mark Ames (Rolling Stone), as well as David Corn (Mother Jones). There is only one obvious Republican on the list, Jeff Hoover, who resigned as Speaker of the Kentucky House of Representatives after being accused of sexual harassment.)

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The Author

David Hogberg

David Hogberg is a writer living in Maryland. He is author of the book, "Medicare’s Victims: How the U.S. Government’s Largest Health Care Program Harms Patients and Impairs Physicians."