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It’s March 8th – Happy International Women’s Day!

Dear oppressed women and non-women who identify as females!

On this wonderful spring holiday the Party takes a day off from the usual revolutionary struggle in order to celebrate all the international contributions to social justice made by self-identified female-gendered persons and wishes for them to crush their oppressors anywhere they can find them – and get even!

Remember: 50% of the world’s population has 100% of the Y-chromosomes and 91% of the testosterone.

  • #SMASH FASCIST TESTICLES!

We will never have a truly equal society until we can eliminate Penis Envy by eliminating the penis.

  • #All GENITALS BELONG TO THE STATE! 

The State is the only power which is wise enough to decide when, where, and how they should be used.

  • #END THE INEQUALITY!
  • #MAKE AMERICA A ONE-GENDER NATION!

And our personal greetings to Comrade Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin!

International Women’s Day: Who was Clara Zetkin?

Originally known as International Working Women’s Day, its roots lie in the socialist, rather than feminist, struggle of the early 20th century. Although national days had been celebrated prior to 1911, the 18 March of that year marked the first International day, following a proposal from German communist Clara Zetkin.

Clara Zetkin died in 1933 [in the Soviet Union]. In her obituary, the Manchester Guardian referred to her as the ‘grandmother of communism,’ yet the legacy of International Women’s Day, and her contribution to it, should also be recognised, and celebrated.

Brought to you by “Americans for Sex-Hope & Sex-Change” and “Society For Advancement Of Secondary Sexual Characteristics.”

And finally, greetings from the People’s Cube beet kollektive!

 

This satirical article first appeared at The People’s Cube.