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Militant snowflake: new insignia for social justice warrior

Oleg Atbashian author image / /   31 Comments

This darkly sarcastic article comes from a satirical website, The People’s Cube. Don’t be surprised if you find this emblem on college campuses in near future, though, as many of The People’s Cube’s previous spoofs of “progressive” absurdities have since become our daily reality.

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Dear social justice warriors!

You have so outgrown the old hammer and sickle emblem, it’s not even funny. The working class has betrayed you and can no longer be trusted. Your new broad coalition is proactively writing a new narrative of safe spaces, microaggressions, dog whistles, snow jobs, institutionalized rapism, and climate denyism.

Your community organizers have succeeded in creating a spectacular movement of snowflakes who they hope will one day solidify into an impenetrable iceberg that will sink the Titanic of capitalism. And yet you’re still struggling to create an emblem you could put on your armbands, banners, and social media icons. We hope this design will stick. Your movement deserves an original catchy symbol (see above).

Nazi snowflake flag

This emblem will look great on flag and armband, adding a nice touch to your school’s interior and exterior.

Nazi snowflake armband

Put it on your signs during your next campaign of Jew-hatred at your favorite campus.

Nazi snowflake flag

You can even wear it as you harass passengers you don’t like on your flight to San Francisco, and no one will dare take you off the plane once they see your official SJW status.

Nazi snowflake armband

And feel free to use the SafeSeating™ sign we have made for you earlier.

Nazi snowflake

If you are wearing a safety pin to symbolize your struggle for safety over hate, try wearing four safety pins at once and watch your message get amplified exponentially. There’s safety in numbers! Be fashionable and raise everyone’s awareness by wearing this tasteful arrangement.

The Author

Oleg Atbashian

Oleg Atbashian is an author, essayist, satirist, and graphic artist from the former USSR. Born and raised in Ukraine, he grew up believing in Communism and at one time worked…