Racist whites teamed up with illegal aliens on the Democratic National Committee to reject a heavily favored black Muslim candidate for DNC chairman.
Congressman Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), a friend of America-hating jihadists everywhere, had been expected to win the hotly contested race to become the in-your-face of the Democratic Party.
Sadly, it was not to be.
Yahoo News lamented the obviously racist, sexist, transphobic, bicurious-phobic, Islamophobic conspiracy against the eminently qualified Brother Keith, whose Muslim Brotherhood name is Keith Hakim.
No rational person doubts that Ellison, a man who loves America the way Adolf Hitler loved Germany circa April 1945, was unfairly otherized by Democrats loyal to former President Obama’s preferred candidate and eventual DNC winner former Secretary of Labor Tom Perez.
Ellison was dogged by his past associations with the Nation of Islam and his past defense of its founder, Louis Farrakhan, who had made anti-Semitic comments. Ellison, the first Muslim elected to Congress, disavowed his association with the group in 2006. His supporters pointed to his long history of winning elections in Minnesota and ability to bring together different coalitions of voters through grassroots organizing.
This is, of course, neoliberal propaganda deployed by white privilege-imbued rich people to justify the brutal second-ballot beat-down of Ellison. The DNC, after all, is on record as endorsing Black Lives Matter and accusing American police officers of committing genocide against blacks.
President Donald Trump, long a huge fan of Ellison’s work, jumped onto Twitter to denounce the Democratic Party’s crooked election and mock the victor.
Congratulations to Thomas Perez, who has just been named Chairman of the DNC. I could not be happier for him, or for the Republican Party!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 25, 2017
Within minutes, Perez shot back on Twitter:
— Tom Perez (@TomPerez) February 25, 2017
Having been conquered by Perez, Ellison announced that Sharia law required that he become the new DNC’s chairman slave for life.
A senior White House aide said the president is considering his options.
(Yes, this is satire. With luck it’s funny too but no promises there.)